Evil Mini Moni the Sequal
by xMina-chan
Summary: I'm no good at summaries. Basically this is a story about the Azumanga girls - plus me and my friend - kicking butt. Mainly Mini Moni's. Teen for safety. I don't care if nobody reads or likes it because it was fun to do.
1. Prolouge

Okay, so it's been a few months since our last story, right? Well, I woke up from a nap. I dunno why but there was nothing to do on the computer, so I phoned up Chii. So she's asking me what to do.

"Well, I can relate to you. I'm bored as heck." She had said, and I only agreed. So she got on MSN and together we found another video of the Mini Monis, to see what evil schemes they had going now.

We watched them, their spunky dances and annoyingly preppy skirts. Singing... gay songs. We listened. Then I heard, my name called, and Chii asked if I heard it. Then we heard her name... and Kimi... and Mak... and then it whacked us like a paddle against water. Right across our foreheads, it stung at first, and we realized what exactly hit us.

Another fanfiction.

Not just any fanfiction...

THIS fanfiction.


	2. Azumanga Protection Services

Welcome to our story! This has been written awhile ago by my friend Chii and myself, and it was really fun to do. We sent it back and forth on MSN and just kept adding to it, until it got to the point where I had to break it into chapters. I don't care if no-one likes it, because we had fun writing it. I'm posting it as a dedication to her. I would post the original story that she wrote, but since she wrote it I can't. Sorry. But the story thus far was someone we know got kidnapped by Mini Moni and we had to save her. And, of course, you can't attempt a rescue mission without teaming up with Azumanga. Chiyo had also been taken by Mini Moni and transfourmed into a rotten egg, bad to the core. And we robbed Bill Gates. And he got assassinated. (Sorry! No offense, but we needed cash and since you're rich and all you became the victim... hehe.) Hope that explains stuff!

Also, the story is in it's raw format. Which means I left it the way it was when we wrote it. No changes. Sorry, but I want to keep it the way it was.

As you should know, we don't own any characters besides ourselves. And the story. That's it. Nothing else.

--

"You can't quit!" A man was calling, a bearded man with dirty crimson hair and a beard several inches long. Our story continues back in Manhattan, at the MA building, which was now renamed as M.A.S.S., or Manhattan Assassination of Society Squad. The name was changed a month ago, although the building remained larger than the Empire State building. It was the headquarters to the assassinators of Manhattan, hence the name. In all honesty, I have no idea how they've been around for so long without attracting law enforcements or the government. I mean, it was the headquarters. To people who got paid to kill people. That sounds pretty illegal to me.

"I can, and I will!" the blond screamed. She was packing, or rather stuffing, all her belongings into her suitcase. The bearded man was following her, pleading.

"Mina, if you would just calm down an-"

"No!" The blond that we know as Mina screamed. "I've had enough of this place! We're already in enough trouble, and with the police coming to check this place out, I can't take it! And I certainly am not going to pretend this is a business office and lie! I can't live like this anymore!"

The girl with pitch black hair was packing her stuff aswell.

"Please! You girls are the brains of this place! We won't run properly without you!"

"Then close for all I care! Maybe this place will turn into something of good use!" Mina shut her suitcase and turned to the raven haired girl, who nodded.

"Please, Chii, atleast you sta-"

"No can do. Where Mina goes, I go. We're buddies and we gotta stick-"

"Like two birds." Mina ended, paraphrasing Osaka's infamous speech. LOL WTF MINA? QUIT HANGING OUT WITH THE AZUS!

Mina opened the door, but as they were about to exit the bearded man grabbed Chii's wrist.

"Bob! Let me go!" Chii struggled from the man, who we now know as Bob's, grasp. She finally broke free and tripped off towards Mina.

"Look, Bob, it was bound to happen. Send good wishes to the wife for m-" Chii stopped, remembering the guy killed his own wife. She shivered. Psycho.

Once they exited the building, the two girls felt like a weight was lifted off their shoulders.

"I'm glad to be out of that place." Mina sighed.

"Yeah, the corpses they were hiding were smelling a bit musty lately..." Chii chuckled. But soon that laughter would end.

Time seemed to freeze. It slowed, to an almost abrupt stop. All suddenly, still, cold, dead. Mina turned and saw a figure, hanging out the window. She lept, knocked Chii down, and forced her head to the ground and ducked as a bullet wizzed by her head and hit the ground. Time sped back to normal.

"Mina! What the heck were you thinking?!" Chii screamed, rubbing her forehead after it collided with the cement sidewalk.

Another gunshot; a bullet streamed by, Mina dodged. Bob was hanging out the window, aiming. Mina scrambled up and her and Chii ran the hell out of there.

Once they were a safe distance away from the Bob guy, Chii turned to Mina, "Wow. Smart move. Where exactly are we going to go now?"

Mina blinked, "Uh..."

Chii spun around. "HEY BOB, WE'RE GOING RIGHT BACK I--"

"Wait!" Intterupted Mina. "Chii, wait, What about the Azumanga Daioh protection services?"

"What about it?"

Mina began to twiddle her thumbs, "I was thinking they'd let us stay with them.."

"ARE YOU OUT YOUR MIND?!"

"Well why not!? They helped us rescue Kimi, remember?! Maybe we could move in with them.."

"IF YOU THINK I'M GOING TO MOVE IN WITH GAY LESBIAN TOMO, SADISTIC CHIYO, CRACK ADDICT OSAKA, AND SMELLY KAGURA AND FAT YOMI, THEN YOU'RE OUT OF YOUR MIND!" Yelled Chii.

"Pleaaaase?" Mina put on the puppy face. "With sugar on top?"

"NO!"

"Come on, Chii! Where else are we going to go?!"

Chii thought about it for a while, and figured, Mina had a point there. She sighed, "FINE, we'll ask if we can move in with them."

Mina glomped Chii. "OH THANK YOU! YOU'RE THE BESTEST FRIEND IN THE WORLD!"

Chii pulled Mina off of her. "Yeah, yeah, yeah, now let's get going. Osaka'd probably answer the door again."

--

"ABSOLUTELY NOT!" Shouted Chiyo.

"But why not?!" Whined Mina. "We have no where else to go!! Why can't we stay with you?"

"BECAUSE I AINT LIVING WITH NO WEABOO, AND ANOTHER ONE OF THOSE TALL BUSTY WHORES. WE GOT ENOUGH OF SAKAKI, WE DON'T NEED ANOTHER ONE!"

"WHO YOU CALLING A WHORE?!" Barked Chii.

"I'M CALLING YOU ONE!"

"GUYS WAIT!" Mina shouted, stopping what was about to be World War three. "Only you can't decide things! That's not what teamwork is, let's see what the other people have to say."

"Alright." Agreed Chiyo. She rose her machine gun at Tomo. "The lesbian goes first."

Tomo looked at the machine gun and began to tremble. Then she looked at Mina and Chii.

"You can't stay here, because if I say you can, I'd get killed."

Chiyo aimed her gun at Yomi.

"You can't stay here."

"Should I go on?" Smirked Chiyo.

Chii was about to sock one right in the brat's face, but Mina grabbed her wrist and held her back.

"Chiyo, think about it. Would you rather an overweight half-bald useless-"

"Yomi..." Coughed Tomo.

"Hey!"

"-red headed slow old retard kill us or would you prefer to do it yourself?"

Chiyo thought. Gee, it's been a long time since she actually did that.

"I ain't lettin' no gay tard one of Yomi's cousins kill you! I'd rather do it myself. You wanna stay here," She rolled her cigarette around her mouth.

"You best not get yourselves killed before I get to you." Mina turned to Chii and smiled, and they agreed.

"Well, certainly you can't stay here. Old baldy will probably come hunting for you!" Tomo suggested.

"I think they should go to our secret warehouse-hideout in Medina, Washington." Osaka pointed out.

"Osaka, you're brilliant!" Kagura screamed.

"I am? How?"

"For suggesting we bring them to our secret hideout!"

"We have a secret hideout?"

"Yeah! In Medina! You intelligent being!"

"Intelligence and I are two birds-"

"That don't stick." They all chided simultaniously. "Yeah yeah, we know."

"Birds don't stick!"

Silence.

"Uhm, are you sure that's a good idea?" Mina popped in.

"Why not?" Yomi blinked. She looked down and noticed Tomo playing with her stomach rolls.

"It's like Play-Doh!" She grinned.

"TOMO! GET AWAY FROM ME!"

"Fine, jeez."

"Well, Chiyo did kill Bill Gates there... who knows if there were any witnesses..."

Tomo slapped Mina's back.

"Erm..please don't touch me after playing with Yomi's fat..." She squeaked.

"DON'T WORRY! CHIYO, YOMI, AND I WILL GO LIKE LAST TIME AND PROTECT YOU!"

"You couldn't even protect yourself from a coat hanger..." Yomi hissed.

Chiyo walked out the door.

"Chiyo-chan, where are you going?" Mina yelled.

"The helicopter you gay weaboo." Chii, Mina, Yomi, and Tomo ran after.

"So you guys will come with us?" Chii asked.

"YEAH! ISN'T THAT GOOD 'N' STUFF?"

"..."

And they went in the helicopter and flew off to Medina, Washington.

--

Well, that's it for chapter one. Yes, we're in America. And we make fun of Yomi. It's an inside joke that existed for years, so Yomi fans don't be offended! Uhm... go ahead and rate if you want? I'm not going to tell you to. If you decide to, then that's your decision. Yay! Chapter one is finally up!


	3. The Plan, the Traitor, and the Promise

Yes, we're back! Chapter 2! This chapter can get a bit weird. Just for the record, Mina doesn't swear. Any cussing was from Chii. Okay? We edited each other's work when we got it, so something from mine may not have any censor I put it when I wrote it. Sorry about that! D:

As stated before, we do not own Azumanga. Or Mini Moni. Or the Gate's mansion. But we own ourselves!

--

"This makes no sense! We get stuck doing the shopping!" Chii was whining as the walked down the road with a bunch of grocery bags.

"I have no idea where all the food is disappearing to.."

"Probably into Yomi's fatass lard stomach!" Chii screamed.

"Hey, wait a minute..." Mina turned and looked across the road. Guess who were standing there watching them?

"What is it?" Chii asked, bewildered.

"Look over there..." Mina wispered. "It's the Mini Moni's..." They kept walking, and the Mini Monis were walking the opposite side. They passed a cross walk, picking up a faster pace. Mina glanced back and noticed the Mini Moni's waiting to cross.

"What do they want with us now!?" Mina yelped, half scared to death.

"I guess they want us to teach them another lesson, or to recruit your short..."

"HEY! WHO'RE YOU CALLING PUNY?!" Mina's sudden outburst slowed them down, and the Mini Monis were gaining.

"What do we do?" Chii asked.

"Erm... act natural. We can't let them know we're on to them." She ducked into an ally, Chii followed close behind. They ran going every which way until they thought they lossed the Mini Monis. They ran back on to the main road and ran the rest of the way back to the Azumanga warehouse.

"So?" Yomi grabbed the bags and went through them. "Whaddya get, 'n' stuff?"

"The Mini Monis spotted us."

"Izzat so? Good for you!" She was obviously too distracted with the food to comprehend what they just said.

"Yomi! That isn't good!" Mina yelled and grabbed the bags of food.

"Yeah!" Chii slammed her fist on the table. "If they find this place, we're practically doomed!"

"Just take another way here." Tomo suggested then sniffed the air, turning around to see Chiyo kicked back watching TV smoking, obviously uninterested in what they were doing.

"But there is only one other way-" Yomi began.

"AH SHOOT! I FORGOT MY CHOCOLATE POCKY!" Mina yelled.

"There are more important things!" Yomi yelled, searching the bags to see if maybe Mina left her pocky in one of them.

"More important than pocky?" Tomo and Chii asked, then realized they said it at the same time and 'jynxed' eachother.

"I don't believe so..." Mina went out the door, Chii following behind then running to catch up with her blond friend.

--

"I don't get why we have to take THIS road to get back to the Azumanga's other warehouse." Chii grunted, shuffling down the sidewalk next to Mina. "Because, we've already been spotted by Mini Moni in the area. We don't want them to find it, right?" Mina took a bite of her pocky.

"Hey, who's that?" Chii finished chewing her pocky and pointed to the large mansion ahead.

"What is it?" Mina swallowed.

"I thought I saw something orange go in there..." They ran up to the mansion and busted through the police tape.

"Chii, what if it's a trap!" Mina cried behind her, realizing this was the Gate's mansion.

"And? I'm sure we can get through anything they toss at us after what we've been through!" Chii ran up to the open door.

"I suppose..." Mina ran behind. The two girls entered the deserted large mansion and looked around.

"Yo." A voice called. The two girls looked around, then noticed Chiyo crouched down off in the middle.

"Chiyo, what the heck are you doing!?" Chii yelled.

"The police might come by and we'll get in big trouble!" Mina nodded, looking over her shoulder at the door every so often.

"Having fun."

"Doing what?"

"Poking the body."

Chii ran next to the girl and noticed she had a stick her hand and was poking Bill Gate's dried body. EWWWWWWWW!

"Ew! They still haven't cleaned that up?! He died months ago!" Mina yelled, staying where she was near the door.

"So?" Chiyo lit a cigarette and drew a breath from the cancer stick.

"So? Well, I find it odd! Why would they leave the body here? Unless... unless it's a trap!"

"Calm down, Mina." Chii stood up from her spot and faced the blond, and Chiyo stood aswell, continuing smoking her cigarette. "I doubt there's any traps around here-"

"Wrong." Chiyo took a last draw from her cigarette and pushed it down on Chii's arm.

"GAHHHHH! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU CHIYO?!" Chii screamed. Mina rushed over to the girl.

"Chii! Are you okay!?" Chiyo tossed her cigarette onto Bill Gate's body and pulled out a gun and aimed it at the two.

"Haha, genius here guessed right."

"I'm no genius!" Mina yelled, although she was ignored.

"Chiyo! What are you doing!? We're on your side!" Chii snapped, but quickly shut her mouth when Chiyo aimed the loaded gun at her.

"Wrong." She laughed an eerie, evil laugh. The kind that sends chills down your spine from the horror movies, like a twisted psycho.

"The Mini Monis promised me I could kill whoever I want-" She held the gun towards Mina and moved her index finger onto the trigger. "If I join them. So I agreed. They also promised me I could smoke and drink and they'll provide me with any weapon I desire." She smirked.

"Besides, you asked if I would rather kill you and I agreed." Mina and Chii glanced at eachother, then at Chiyo, then at eachother again, obviously in shock that Chiyo would betray them, although it isn't that shocking, and that she took what they said to heart.

Chiyo then laughed. "Syke. You guys are asswipes."

Mina and Chii stood there with blank expressions.

Then Chiyo laughed again, "I'm jerking your chain actually, I did join up with those Gayass Monis. I got a free tattoo."

"WOMAN, WOULD YOU PLEASE MAKE UP YOUR MIND?!" screamed Chii.

"Why should she listen to you and your puny orders, Huh?"

Chii and Mina turned around. Yaguchi.

"Where's your Mini Moni?! At the Mini Moni cafe?" Sneered Chii.

"I'm not here to fight." Said Yaguchi. "I'm here for your short friend."

"Who?" Asked Mina, "Chiyo?!"

"No, you dumbass. You."

Mina stepped back, "WHATEVER YOU'RE HERE FOR, I WON'T TAKE ANY PART OF IT! I WILL NEVER TAKE PART OF YOUR EVIL PLANS, NEVER!"

"You're in the height limit." Said Yaguchi, stepping closer to Mina. "Just as Chiyo is."

"SO THAT'S REALLY WHY YOUR TRYING TO MANIPLULATE CHIYO INTO JOINING YOU!" Exclaimed Chii, "YOU WANT TO BE UNSTOPABLE, DON'T YOU?!"

Yaguchi threw her headback and laughed an evil laugh.

"YOU BITCH!" Screamed Chii. She turned to Mina. "GET AWAY FROM HER, MINA!"

Mina looked at Chii, then Yaguchi, who was still advancing her. Mina tried to run, but Chiyo stood in the way. "You little short squak. It's not THAT bad being in Mini Moni."

Mina screamed.

"Let's go Chiyo. She has the point."

Chiyo ran over to her new half leader. Yaguchi looked to Mina and smirked, "Oh, and expect a visit to your new hideout later. (Thanks to Chiyo, Moni knows where it is.) I'll come and get you, and we'll put you in a Mini Moni uniform. Eh?"

Chiyo lit up a cig. "Let's get the fuck out of this place. It's weaboo infested."

The two, the traitor, and the evil jpop singer left the building.

"That bitch." Muttered Chii.

"Don't worry, Chii." Mina smiled, "I'll never join them. I don't care what they do!"

Chii smiled too, then frowned, "We should go back to the hideout now and tell them the news about Chiyo and Yaguchi."

Mina frowned too. "Yeah.."

--

Mina: Told you it was weird!

Chii: Hey Mina?

Mina: Hm?

Chii: It's nothing.

Mina: ...


	4. A Friend Is Captured!

Mina: Welcome back! Lol, I'm listening to Azumanga songs.

Chii: Wtf?

Mina: I dunno. Let's just get the credits over with.

Chii: Blah blah don't own anything blah blah besides our characters and story blah blah. We done now?

Mina: I guess. We still have thirty seconds to do it...

Chii: Oh.

Both: ...

-Thirty Seconds Later-

Chii: I'M OUT. PEACE.

Mina: WAIT UP!

--

The wazzle. Say it. The wazzle. The 'wah-zzle'. The wazzle. Lmao I can't stop laughing, I pronounce it funny. I can hardly do it. I CAN'T PRONOUNCE IT ROTFLLMAO. THE WAZZLE. SKAAAAAAAAAAAH.

Chii looked up at the tiny paragraph and sighed, "Chii, you don't make sense."

"Why are you talking to yourself?" Asked Mina.

"NOT ME CHII, THE AUTHOR CHII!"

"...There are two Chii's?! Oh dear."

"What the hell was that supposed to mean?!"

Getting back to the fanfic..

--

"...And then they called us weaboos and left." Said Mina. They were in the hideout, explaining stuff and stuff. The Azus looked hurt. Chiyo went from sweet and innocent and a peace keeper, to crude, guilty, and a war-causer. Then, to make matters worse, she turned into a traitor.

"CHIYO CHAN?! WHY?!" Cried Osaka. She took a knife and held it to her throat, "WITHOUT HER, I GOT NO RAISON (LOL) TO LIVE!"

Tomo popped up out of nowhere. "DON'T WORRY! I SHALL FILL IN THE PLACE OF CHIYO!"

Tomo put her hair into pigtails, and spray painted her hair orange. "STOP CRYIN, FOOL!" She said, trying to sound like the new, OOC tough Chiyo.

"Chiyo Chan! You're back!" Gasped Osaka, who litterally thought that was the real Chiyo. She gave Tomo a big hug. "I MISSED YOU, BUDDY!"

"If Tomo's the new Chiyo, who's the Tomo replacement?" Said Kagura.

Everyone turned to Chii. "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU GUYS LOOKING AT?!"

"You're the new Tomo." Laughed Mina. "I AM NOT TOMO!" screamed Chii.

"I REFUSE TO BE ANYONE WHO'D DATE THAT FAT PERSON WITH SHITTY GLASSES OVER THERE IN THE CORNER SNEAKING A SLOPPY JOE SANDWHICH!"

Yomi turned around and looked at Chii, with a 'DAMN YOU CAUGHT ME!' look.

"Well you have to. Who else is going to do it?!" Said Tomo. Chii sighed, "FINE. I'm gay Tomo."

"Then who's the new Chii?!" Said Mina.

Everyone looked at Mina.

"FOR CRYING OUT LOUD! FINE, I'LL BE CHII!"

Mina made her hair look like an exact replica of Chii's. Just longer.

"Who's the new Mina?" Asked Yomi, joining in this game. Everyone looked at Yomi, since she's the last one left, and that Kagura's too gay to be Mina, and Sakaki sucks balls and it wouldn't be funny if Osaka replaced her.

Yomi put a red bow in her hair.

(Tomo Chiyo.

Chii Tomo

Kagura Kagura

Osaka Osaka

Sakaki Gay

Mina Chii

Yomi Mina.

Mkay?)

Just then, the doors of the hideout flew open, and the Mini Moni were standing there.

"Oh Mina, we're here to collect you!"

"NEVER!" Shouted Mina, who looks like Chii.

Kago and Tsuji grabbed Yomi and pushed her to the ground. (OMFG, SUPER HUMAN STRENGTH!)

They then dragged her out the door.

"YOMI!" Screamed Tomo, but it was too late. The Mini Moni were gone, and mistakened their fatfriend Yomi for Mina! (HOW THE HELL COULD YOU MANAGE TO DO THAT?!)

"OH NO, WE HAVE TO GO FIND THEM AND GET HER BACK!" Gasped Mina.

"But how? Who knows where the hell in this huge world the Mini Moni's are. They're rich!" frowned Chii, "It's hopeless. We should just give up. This is Yomi we lost anyway. Not much of a loss."

"But just look at poor Tomo." Said Mina, "We have to get Yomi back, for her sake."

Tomo looked sad as if she was going to cry.

"Aw. Let's not get her. Tomo crying is adorable." joked Chii. But Mina looked dead serious.

"Fine, we'll save her."

"I don't see how anyone could mistake Yomi for Mina, she isn't even blond." Kagura finally said.

"And she isn't short-"

"HEY!"

"-and she isn't flat-"

"HEY!!"

"And Mina still looks like herself."

Osaka blinked, "Why were there two Mina's here?"

Silence.

Everyone was staring at the unintelligant person.

Tomo went off to wash the paint off her hair, Mina was muttering something about how Yomi aka the tub of lard better not get sweat all over her bow, Osaka was looking for Chiyo Tomo, Sakaki was off being gay, Chii didn't even have to change herself to be Chii, and Kagura just sat around on her lazy ass doing nothing except complaining.

"Really, those Mini Monis aren't bright. You have Mina standing there and Yomi, a large tub of lard with breast, standing around with Mina's bow in her hair and you mistake lard- for Mina? And Yomi isn't even blond!"

"Kagura, we all already know this. So just shut up." Chii hissed. When everyone was done what they were doing, they sat around a circle table to decide what their next move was.

"One thing is for sure, we gotta ditch this hideout." Chii stated.

And guess who decided to come?

"Hey my highschool hotties! I need some help!" A creepy man with circle glasses and his jaw open wide strolled in.

"Aww, no Kaorin today?"

"WHAT THE HECK!" Tomo stood up. "Kimura, Get the hell out!"

"Awww, don't be mean. I'd like you to meet my friend. He needs your help finding two ex employees."

And you know who else came in?

"Hey, nice to meet yo-"

"LOOK! ANOTHER LARD TARD! I BET IT'S YOMI'S BOYFRIEND!"

Tomo went emo in a corner.

"Chii that's-" Mina started.

"Yo Bob, long time no see." She stood in a defensive position, expecting an attack.

"Ah, Kimura, you were right. They did help me find my ex employees."

"Wait, that means-" Mina began again, and got cut off. again.

"Hahaha, yes! After you girls left, I got a hefty promotion to manager! It's a shame I forgot my guns, I'll just use another weapon..." He grabbed a crowbar that was sitting against a wall next to him.

"CHII, RUN!"

Mina ran over to her raven-haired friend and dragged her through the warehouse and Kagura, Osaka, and Sakaki got up to fight them off and Tomo went with Mina and Chii to get her girlfriend back. Kagura yelled for them to not worry about them as the three scrambled out the door. Sakaki's useless and probably got tossed aside easily and Kimura... -shiver- I won't even think about what will happen...

The three girls ran, and ran without looking back. They ran through streets and past buildings and pedestrians alike. They turned corners and ran into an ally behind a garbage disposal unit,

(COULDN'T YOU JUST SAY DUMPSTER LIKE A NORMAL PERSON?)

which Chii suggested after they sat there trying to figure out what the "GDU" sign on the back said.

They panted and wheezed and Tomo flopped over onto her back.

"This just SUCKS." Tomo whined, still heaving quick breaths.

"Yeah, it does." Chii said in an obvious voice.

"Please, don't argue. We gotta figure out what to do now." And an illuminous glow shifted out of the garbage disposal unit.

"What the heck is that?" Chii gazed at the bright light.

"No idea." Mina too was staring at it. Then an orange, mutated cat thing formed from the light.

"Yo Chichi!" Tomo sat up and did some handshake with the cat.

"That's Chiyo Chichi?" Mina's eyes widened.

"Or 'God', your pick."

"Why is 'God' here?" Chii poked the form, it was like jiggly jello at first then hardened a cat like thing.

"I am going to help you with your dilema..." He said.

Then he farted and everyone died.

Actually, I was really bored when typing that. They didn't die. They fell unconcious.

When they awoke, they were inside of Mini Moni's hideout. That fancy, building that was in the other fanfic. They were standing in front of the glass table. 'Alright, ChiChi!' Thought Chii, 'You brought us to the hideout!'

"Come on," Whispered Mina, "We just wanna come in, get Yomi, and then get the heck out."

"Going somewhere?"

The lights flashed on. (They were off before lol)

Yaguchi and the other Mini Monis were there.

"WHERE'S YOMI?!" Screamed Tomo.

The Mini Moni's laughed, "You can't take her now. She's a part of my plan. So what, it wasn't Mina like we exactly wanted it to be. But so what. We found her to be of a greater purpose."

Our heroines stared at the Mini Moni, wondering what the hell they could possibly mean. The only 'great purpose' Yomi has, is to eat, and then finger Tomo. What else could she be useful for?

Yaguchi turned to Mika, "I think it's time they met.. THE CLONES!"

Mika opened the door, and Osaka stepped out.

"OSAKA?!" Gasped Mina and Chii. Did Osaka betray them too?

"Howdy, yall." Replied Osaka.

"WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER?" Screamed Tomo.

"Allow me to explain." Said Chiyo, "Since Yomi's an Azu, we could take the Azu DNA and clone it, creating.. ADV OFFICAL DUB CLONES!"

"OH NO!" Shouted Mina, "NOT OSAKA WITH A TEXAN ACCENT!"

"BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHA!" The evil people laughed, "YES! AND FEAR THEM! THEY EVEN MISPRONOUNCE EACH OTHER'S NAMES!"

Osaka waved at Tomo "Aye Toto, Whai aintcha sayin 'hey 'ahzaka'? Yer not speaking to me no mare?"

Tomo screamed, "MY NAME ISN'T PRONOUNCED TOTO YOU TEXAN BASTARD!"

"SUCH HORRIBLE EXCUSE FOR VOICE ACTING!" Chii cracked her knuckles, "PREPARE TO DIE!"

"SEXY BEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAM!"

It hit Tomo in the arm. "OUCH! WEAR A BRA FOR GODS SAKE. YOUR NIPPLES ARE EEEEEVILLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!"

"OSAKA CLONE!" Ordered Takahashi, "ATTACK THEM!"

"SARA ANGAGI!" Osaka shouted, biting Tomo on the Sexy Beam spot. "SARA ANGAGI!"

"STOP IT! STOP PRONOUNCING THE NAME WRONG! AHH, IT'S KILLING ME!"

"TOMO!" Mina cried, trying to pry the.. Texan Osaka off of her friend. "SHIGA BAYABAMA!"

"THAT'S NOT EVEN CLOSE TO 'SHIISA YABIMI'"

A Tomo clone walked in the room. It smirked. "RUB A DUB DUB, THANKS FOR THE GRUB!"

"WHAT THE FRUCK!!" Screamed Chii, "THAT LINE IS TERRIBLE. I HATE YOU DUBS!"

Tomo punched Chii in the face. "WHEN PUSH COMES TO SHOVE! I GET THE JOB DONE!"

Chii, who always wanted to be a professional voice actress, pretty much died on Tomo's voice. "WHO THE HELL HIRED YOUR VOICE ACTRESS? SATAN?!"

"YOUR BOOBS ARE EIGHT CENTIMETERS BIGGER THEN MINE, SO MOVE EIGHT CENTIMETERS BACK!"

Chii slapped Tomo. "WRONG! THAT'S A JAPANESE SUBTITLED QUOTE!"

Tomo cracked her neck and giggled. Then her head did a three sixty.

"C'MON, YOU COULD TELL PAPA"

Chii held her ears. "WHAT THE HELL DID ADV DO TO YOU!?"

Tomo grabbed out a baseball bat. "PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME!"

"THAT'S NOT A TOMO QUOTE!"

Tomo smashed Chii in the head with the bat. "SMASH THAT WATERMELON OPEN!"

The real Tomo finally got the scary Osaka off of her. Tomo punched Osaka in the jaw. "I'M GONNA SHOVE MY POI POI PEACE UP YOUR TOBIKIRI PARADISE!"

"HAII CHIYO, WHEREYA FLAYIN?!"

"SHUT THE HELL UP!" Tomo kicked Osaka in the jaw once again.

Mina, since she wasn't fighting anything, decided that this was the best time to go find Yomi.

As soon as she was going to leave, Yaguchi spotted her. "Eh, Mika, Kago, take care of it."

"Going somewhere?" Asked Mika.

"WHERE ARE YOU KEEPING YOMI!?"

Kago pushed Mina to the floor, and Mika gave Mina a cake. "Come on, eat it. My cakes make people happy."

"I WILL NEVER EAT YOUR SICK CAKES!"

Kago tickled Mina. Mina died in laughter. "STOP!" She cried through laughing, "STOP! OH GOD IT TICKLES! STOP!!"

Mika forced Mina to eat the cake.

Mina started laughing. "You got some more of that? Oh man, look at the colours. What is this?"

She rubbed her skin. "It's so soft."

Mina ripped her shirt off. "I could use it as a blanket.. Cause it's so soft."

Mika and Kago screamed and ran away.

Mina poked her bra. "Look, my girls got bigger!"

A cloned Kagura walked out. "I REALLY WANT A MOUNTAIN BIKE!"

"HOLY SHIT!" Screamed Chii, pushing Tomo off of her. "THE KAGURA CLONE!"

"I REALLY, REALLY, WANT A MOUNTAIN BIKE!"

She slammed a mountain bike over Chii's head. "I REALLY WANT A MOUNTAIN BIKE!"

Chii snapped Kagura's neck. LOL.

"GO TO THE NEAREST BIKE STORE AND BUY ONE, YOU HE/SHE!"

A Yomi clone walked out. "IT'S A SUPER SPICEY COQUETTE!"

Tomo punched Yomi in the stomach. "IMPOSTERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!"

Yomi slipped over and fell on her back. "I'VE FALLEN, AND I CAN'T GET UP!"

"THAT AINT A YOMI QUOTE!" Screamed Chii.

Tomo punched Yomi in the stomach again, "LAUGH, YOU PHILSBURY DOUGHBOY!" She screamed.

Yomi laughed.

"I REALLY WANT ONE OF THOSE FISH THINGIES RIGHT NOW!" Said Tomo clone. Pulled the real Tomo's hair.

"THAT SOUNDS NOTHING LIKE ME!"

Chii looked at the Tomos, "OH MAN, WHICH ONE IS REAL?!"

"..AND THEN, I PLUCKED MY TOENAILS RIGHT OFF!" Said ADV Tomo.

"Oh, that's the fake Tomo."

Chii pulled ADV Tomo off of the real Tomo and tossed her somewhere.

The real Tomo jumped on top of the ADV Tomo, and shoved a bunch of Taiyaki in her mouth. "YOU WANT THE FISH THINGIES?! EAT THE FISH THINGIES. EAT IT. EAT IT. NOW SPIT IT OUT. YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!"

Osaka got up and walked over to Chii. "WAA ABUT YERR DIET, YOMI?"

Chii snapped Osaka's neck too.

Soon, the clones were defeated.

Mini Moni clapped. "I see you defeated the clones." Said a drunkened Mina, standing next to Yaguchi in a Mini Moni uniform.

"DUDE!" Shouted Chii, "WHAT THE HELL!?"

Mina laughed. "I'm kidding. But can I have some more cake?"

Chii grabbed Mina's wrist. "NO TIME FOR THAT! WE GOTTA SAVE YOMI!"

"But first.." Said Yaguchi, "You have to beat US first."

The clones got up, and laughed.

"ALL of us."

Mina ripped off the Mini Moni uniform and laughed as she stood in her bra and panties. "IT'S GO TIME!"

The others failed to notice Mina was fighting almost nude, or the fact that she was even fighting at all being the anti-violent person she is.

And to everyone's surprise, the clones were actually GAY! LMAO!

"Well this makes everything a heck a lot easier." Chii grabbed the Tomo clone and yanked her other arm off and threw it with the other one that was stuck in a door. Don't ask how it got there...

And in minutes, all the clones were in parts scrambled everywhere.

"Hahaha, I see. You're decently strong. But you can't beat us! Mina, attack!" Mina smirked and pounced on Yaguchi. She bit her arm.

"OH GOD! YOU RABID ANIMAL, GET OFF ME! I SAID ATTACK THEM!"

"I DON'T TAKE ORDERS FROM GAY MINI MONIS LIKE YOU, AND I CERTAINLY WON'T HURT MY FRIENDS!" You could tell her high-ness was waring off a bit.

The others joined in, each against one Moni. Chii against Kago; Tomo against Takahashi; and Mina against Yaguchi. Mika was off watching Yomi and who knows where Chiyo and Tsuji went off to.

"SEEEEEXY BEAMMMM!!" Yaguchi cried, and Mina blasted off of the girl and tossed the chunk of hair aside. She looked at her left shoulder and poked the blood as it dripped.

"Ain't that gonna hurt in the mornin'?" She chuckled like a maniac. A psychopath freak.

"Hey, Mika said to tell yo-"

"Yeah? SEEEEEEEEEEXYYYYY BEAMMMMM!!" But Tomo slammed into her, the beam went for Chii, who ducked, and hit Tsuji who came through the door behind Chii moments ago.

"AHGGGGGGGGGG!!" The girl cried. Chii spun around and socked one right in Kago's jaw, and she ran to Tsuji and Yaguchi.

"Yaguchi, seriously, get your nipples checked, I think they're out of tune."

Mika ran in and asked what happened, and then Chiyo.

"Chiyo I told you to watch Yomi!"

"I don't take orders like that from anyone. I don't wanna miss nothin' good." She took a draw on her cigarette.

"We can't fight like this!" Kago yelled, bruised and worn. "Get the helicopter!" Chiyo ran out.

"Oh no you don't!" Moments later, a thin launch pad extended from the outside window panel and Chiyo in a helicopter landed on it and opened the window.

'...DUDE, WTF?

...

Uh..

The helicopter suddentally smashed threw the window, crushing Tomo, and killing her instantly.

--

Raison - An inside joke you fool. Don't say it unless you want a fist in your face.

Mina: That's it for chapter three!

Chii: ...YEA- I'm not saying this?

Mina: Saying what? -Looks at Chii's script- 'WAIT 'TIL YOU SEE WHAT'S UP NEXT! THE EPIC BATTLE OF THE CENTURY! I REALLY CAN'T WAIT!' The heck?

Chii: SEE? IT'S GAY!

Mina: That's such an understatement LOL.

Chii: ARGH. I'M TAKING MY LUNCH BREAK.

-Chii storms off-

Mina: Uhm... join us next time for chapter four of Evil Mini Moni the Sequal! Stay well! -runs after Chii-


	5. The Epic Battle

Mina: We're back! Last week, the Mini Monis captured Yomi and a huge battle took place! We won, of course! But suddenly, a launch pad extended out of nowhere!

Chii: And a helecopter crashed through the window because drunk Chiyo's as useless as Yomi and can't drive.

Mina: That basically sums it up!

Voice: Time limit!

Chii: Oh, right. Remember, we don't own Azumanga or Mini Moni.

Mina: It would be cool if we did though!

Chii: Yeah. ANYWAYS, we don't own them or anything else that might come up befor-

-Buzzer sound-

Chii: DANGGIT I'M NOT DONE. WE DON'T OWN ANYTHING-

Voice: HURRY UP!

Chii: SKAHHHHHHHHHHHHH! STFU. WE DON'T OWN ANYTHING THAT WE DON'T OWN. WE ONLY OWN OURSELVES AND THINGS THAT WE CAME UP WITH. OKAY?

-Mina and Chii leave-

--

The Mini Monis were looking at where the helicopter crashed, and where Tomo just died. Our heroines were too. "..Was that even in the script? What the hell was that?" Asked a stunned Yaguchi.

"Yeah, suddentally, this isn't any fun anymore." Frowned Chii. Mina quietly nodded.

The silence was long and eternal.

"..Let's go get some pizza?" Suggested Chii. Everyone nodded.

Everybody was just about to leave the room, until the helicopter fell over to it's side. Tomo crawled out. Crawled out on her hands and knees. She rose up her thumb. "I'm okay!"

"Oh." Said Yaguchi. "Then it's okay then."

Everyone nodded and sighed a sigh of relief. That shit there was close lol.

As Chii and Mina went to go aid Tomo, Mini Moni managed to sneak out the building with Yomi undectected. Actually, Chii did notice them, but she plays too much and she's too fat and lazy to say something.

When finished aiding Tomo, Chii and Mina turned around, ready to fight, but no one was there.

"Aw God, they got away!"

"Let's go back to the hideout. Tomo's seriously injuired." Said Chii.

Mina and Chii managed to lift her up, and carry her out of there and to the hideout.

Sakaki was the only one in the hideout. "Where's everyone else?" Asked Chii, placing Tomo down on the floor.

"They all went to get Yomi back. The Mini Moni came here, and terrorized us." Replied Sakaki.

"THEY KNOW WHERE MINI MONI IS!? COME ON, CHII!"

Sakaki stopped Mina and Chii from leaving. "Please leave it to them. I need help with Tomo."

They didn't want to, but their friend is in need, so they decided to stay and help the stripper with Tomo.

--

"It's stuck!" Cried Osaka.

"Dumbass, you're not even trying!" Complained Kagura.

"But it's stuck!"

They were in the middle of the street, and you know those circuliar things that lead to the sewers?

Osaka was having a hard time opening it. Kagura pushed Osaka, before she got ran over by a car. Then she threw a grenade at the sewer thingy, and it exploded. "After you!" Said Kagura.

Osaka climbed down the ladder first, then Kagura followed, then they went down, and down, to the.. clean..sparkly..sewers?

The walls were made competely of a genuine crystal looking substance. It was clean under here, and the floor was covered by a red carpet. Kagura and Osaka followed the carpet, and there was a door, that had a gold plate cemented onto it. Golden letters were carved onto the plate, that said

'Mini Moni.'

"This must be the place." Said Kagura. She turned to Osaka, "Scared?"

Osaka farted, "NAH, ME AND FEAR IS LIKE...

...

TWO LESBIANS WHO LIKE MEN!"

...

"Well," Said Kagura, "That's new."

--

Tomo was in the bed, tucked up under the covers. "How come I'm always the one who gets hurt?"

"Because you suck." Replied Chii matter of factly. Mina tried to stop herself from giggling, "Chii, she's hurt. Show some sympathy."

"FINE! TOMO, I SYMPATHIZE YOU FOR BEING HURT, AND STOPPING US FROM RESCUING YOUR FAT EXCUSE FOR A GIRLFRIEND!"

"CHII! Atleast she's okay, right? We almost lost her!"

"IT WOULD HAVE BEEN GOOD IF WE LOST HER! SHE CAN'T EVEN FIGHT. ALL SHE DOES IS SLOW US DOWN! I'M SO BORED! SAKAKI EVEN STEPPED OUT THE HIDEOUT! WHY CAN'T WE?"

"Because Tomo's hurt and she needs us."

"This is all my fault, isn't this?!" Frowned Tomo. Mina shook her head, "It's no one's fault."

"IT IS YOUR FAULT. EVERYTHING IS YOUR FAULT. IF YOU WOULD HAVE NEVER TRIED TO BE THE NEW CHIYO, YOMI WOULD HAVE NEVER TRIED TO REPLACE MINA, THRUS, MINI MONI WOULD HAVE NEVER KIDNAPPED HER, AND YOU WOULDN'T HAVE BEEN HURT, AND WE COULD BE DOING SOMETHING WAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY MORE INTTERESTING THEN THIS!" Screamed Chii.

"STOP FUCKING YELLING AT ME! I KNOW IT'S MY FAULT, SO STOP RUBBING IT IN MY FACE!"

"UP YOURS WHERE YOU WANT IT TO BE, TOMO!"

"Guys, GUYS, Easy!" Mina pushed Chii back, "Seriously, stop."

"Tomo I wish the fucking helicopter comes back to kill you, and Yomi's dead now, because we're not there to save her." Said Chii, after giving Tomo a death glare.

Tomo rolled on her side and pretended to sleep.

Mina and Chii stepped out of the room. Mina turned to Chii, "What was with you back then?!"

Chii was too angry to reply. "Chii, Tomo ran out of painkillers, so I'm going to run to the store real fast, okay?"

"WHAT THE HELL?! I DESERVE TO GO OUTSIDE!"

Mina sighed, "Chii, I'll just be right back, okay?" With that, Mina left.

Chii was so pissed, she was just about to bang her head against the wall to relieve her stress, until she heard the door open up. She turned, Tomo was standing there.

"Oh, go get flattened by a helicopter."

Then Tomo pulled a gun on Chii.

Chii stepped back, "Whoa there, buddy. I was just foolin with you.. You know I didn't mean all of that.."

"I just want an appology." Said Tomo, limping closer.

"HAH! You can barely walk!"

"I WANT AN APPOLOGY!"

"FINE. I'M SORRY OKAY?!"

Tomo dropped the gun, and threw herself onto Chii and started to cry. Chii patted Tomo's back. "Aw. Cheer up, okay? This is the kind of OOC that scares people."

"Everything is my fault! And now Yomi's dead! And it's because of me!"

"Hush! Don't cry. You must love Yomi, don't you? Don't worry about Yomi, she's immortal. Just feed her food, and she'll be A-okay! And I was just saying that stuff to be mean. Boredom does alot to a person." Chii pushed Tomo out of the tight embrace. "Now, dry your eyes before Mina walks in and thinks something went down and funky when she was away."

Tomo and Chii laughed.

--

"What wire do I hook up where?" Asked Osaka. "Blue with blue. That's what the instruction manuel says." Replied Kagura.

"When did you learn how to read?"

"A few days ago. I can read a few sentences. I can mostly tell by the pictures though."

Osaka began to admire and envy Kagura. "Boy, I wish I could read."

(LOL)

They were putting together a bomb. Behind this door, contained Yomi, their hostage, and all of Mini Moni's world domination equipment. If they destroyed this, Mini Moni would be weakened.

Kagura put the bomb against the door.

Osaka set it. Ten minutes. They opened the door slowly, and both ran in, without toppling the bomb over.

There was a whole mess of Dub clones.

"I REALLY WANT A MOUNTAIN BIKE!" Shouted a Kagura clone. This caused all the other clones to notice Kagura and Osaka. "Quick!" Whispered Kagura, "Act like a clone!"

"I AM A CLONE!" Shouted the real Osaka. "YEAH! SO AM I!" Shouted Kagura.

The clones were gay enough to fall for it.

There were so many clones, they got lost. Osaka could be any one of those Osaka's! Kagura pushed a Sakaki clone out the way, and noticed a door. She opened it. Yomi was tied up in a chair in the middle of the room with her head hung down. Nothing gaurding her or anything. "Too easy." Said Kagura. "Must be a trap." She walked in slowly. Yomi's head snapped up. "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WALKING SO DAMNED SLOW FOR? UNTIE ME!"

(LOL)

Kagura jumped, Yomi scared the hell out of her. She ran over and untied Yomi. Kagura tried helping Yomi out of the chair, but Yomi wouldn't move. "COME ON, YOMI! THERE'S A BOMB IN THIS JOINT!"

The clones heard that, and began running and screaming like hell.

"I can't, Kagura. I'm malnourished. Feed me."

Kagura sighed, there's no time for this! They need to get the hell out! Who knows how long they've been in here!

Kagura got out a Hershey's chocolate bar, and put it in Yomi's mouth. "NOW LET'S GO!"

After eating it, Yomi got up, and they ran the hell out of that room.

The clones were still acting frantic.

"OSAKA! OSAKA WHERE ARE YOU!?"

All the Osakas looked at Kagura. "AYY KAH-GOMA"

"That's NOT how you pronounce my NAME!"

"KAGURA! KAGURA! OVER HERE!"

Kagura heard this correct pronounciation of her name, and followed the voice. Osaka was holding the door open, "WE HAVE TWO--... WE HAVE ONE MINUTE LEFT!"

Kagura screamed, and pulled Yomi the hell out of there.

Then they ran! They ran like the wind. Well, maybe Osaka and Yomi didn't, seeing as they were huffing and puffing behind Kagura, but you get the point.

As soon as they all got on the ladder, the bomb exploded. They climbed, climbed like hell. Then a familiar sound, ecchooed through the sewers. No, not the screams of the dub clones, or the sound of a bomb explosion, it went more like

"NEVER GONNA GIVE YOU UP! NEVER GONNA LET YOU DOWNN!"

That's right. You got rickrolled.

"OSAKA!!" Screamed Kagura through the music, "WHY THE HELL DID YOU PUT RICK ASTLEY IN THE DAMNED BOMB?!"

Osaka laughed.

The three girls managed to get out of the sewer alive, and put the circuliar top back on that magically appeared, even though Kagura blew it up, before the smoke came out and made things noticible.

--

Mina: Wow. What a gay chapter.

Chii: You got that right.

Mina: Now I'm hungry. ;-;

Chii: Wanna grab a pizza?

Mina: Okay!


	6. Parties Bring out the Worst

-Mina and Chii are eating their pizzas when, all of the sudden, they see us-

Chii: What the heck?

Mina: Why are you guys here?

Voice: Because your break is over, and neither of you would pick up your cells!

Both: Oh.

Mina: Fine. We don't own anything in this fanfic besides ourselves and the things we make up... you should be able to tell.

Chii: Yeah. -throws camera out the window, and the people in the store riot like in Grand Theft Auto when you hold a gun to the cashier, or hit someone, or shoot something.-

Both: AHH! THEY GOT A GUN! -pointing to camera men-

--

The door to the hideout opened up, Kagura, Osaka, and Yomi stepped in.

Mina first noticed them. "YOMI! YOU'RE BACK! ARE YOU OKAY?!"

"Damn, I'm hungry." Came Yomi's reply.

"Tomo's waiting for you in the room. She got really hurt. A helicopter smashed her."

"I suppose Tomo's nice enough to eat. I'll go see." Yomi went in 'the room' Mina was talking about.

"You know, I wonder if Yomi's really going to eat her." Thought outloud Osaka.

The girls laughed, then quickly stopped.

"ZOMGGGGG! TOMO!" They screamed in unison.

Tomo and Chii were playing cards. Yomi walked in. Tomo literally jumped out of the bed, fell on her face, and crawled over to her precious fat lard. "YOMIII!!" Tomo got up and hugged her. "OH YOMI, YOU'RE ALRIGHT!"

Just as Tomo and Yomi were about to kiss, the door opened up. Well, more like slammed open. "STOP RIGHT THERE YOMI!"

Tomo and Yomi turned around, facing the door. Mina, Kagura, and Osaka were there, holding rolling pins. "DON'T YOU DARE EAT T--.."

They realised that they just broke up what was probably going to be an intimate moment.

The three girls who just busted in broke out in laughter, and closed the door, giving them two the privacy they want.

As for Chii? Chii's a pervert. She watched.

Osaka ran in with a lamp shade on her head. "I SAY WE PARTY FOR A JOB WELL DONE!"

"YEAH!!" Kagura yelled and ran to clear the area so they could dance.

"OOO-SAHKAHHH, KICK UP THE JAMS!" Mina yelled, then shrieked.

"What was that about?" Chii was sipping a straw that extended from a can of sprite.

"No idea." She was slapping her mouth gently, yet sternly. WTF?

Know who came on? RICKIE ASTLEYYY!!

"Osaka, what the fk?" Kagura yelled.

"I LOVE YOU RICK!" She ripped her shirt off to show a Rick Astley shirt.

"No, seriously, you need help with that." Chii hissed, then hit the skip button to the next track on Osaka's mix CD.

_'Tsukurimashou, tsukurimashou, Sate sate nani ga dekiru ka na. Hai, dekimashita--'_

"NO!!" Mina grabbed her ears and screeched to block out the horrible song sung by the traitor.

Chii skipped the song again.

_A telephone ring sounded played as the music got louder._

"What the fruck is this sht?" Chii stared at the radio waiting to see if it was what she thought it was.

_"Mini Moni telephone ring ring ring--"_

"HECK NO!" She stopped the song before it continued since her gut feeling was right.

"WHAT'S WITH ALL THESE GAYS SONGS?! RICK ASTLEY, TRAITOR, MINI MONI, WTF?"

"Gotta catch 'em all!" Osaka pulled the lampshade up.

"Wrong anime." Mina folded her arms. Was it possible Osaka is also a traitor? But they would mean Kagura is too... and what about stripper? She hasn't appeared much in this fiction, what is she scheming?

The scene briefly flashes to neon lights shining and girls on stages next to poles dancing, some half nude, and we see our girl slowly taking her top off while she dances on the pole before the scene snaps back to our story. WTF SAKAKI?!

"Skip to track fourteen! I love that one!"

"Fourteen?!" Mina yelled, but Chii obeyed reluctantly, half curious what this next gay song would be and half mortified and unwilling to hear anymore gay songs.

A smooth intro sounded, and Chii figured the song would be decent.

_"I love little girls they make me feel so good,_

_I love little girls they make me feel so bad,_

_When they're around they make me feel,_

_Like I'm the only guy in town,_

_I love little girls they make me feel so good..."_

Chii and Mina were frozen, and looked at eachother. What was this stuff? And the singer sounded like Kimura!

_"They don't care if I'm a one-way mirror,_

_They're not frightened by my cold exterior..."_

Osaka danced to the song with Kagura, singing bits here and there.

_"They don't ask me questions,_

_They don't want to scold me,_

_They don't look for answers,_

_They just want to hold me._

_Isn't this fun?_

_Isn't this what life's all about?_

_Isn't this a dream come true?_

_Isn't this a nightmare too?_

_They don't ask me questions..."_

Chii and Mina just stared at the dancing fools, paying attention to each word, each stanza, noting the meaning. Wtf was this, Kimura's intro song?

_"Uh oh, take a second take,_

_Uh oh, I swear it's a mistake,_

_Uh oh, I'm in trouble,_

_Uh oh, the girl was just too little,_

_Too little, too little, too little,_

_Isn't this what life's all about?_

_Isn't this a dream come true?_

_Isnt this a nightmare too?"_

"This is a nightmare..." Chii thought. Mina was shaking, Chii could've sworn she was, it was so noticable. The media is screwed up enough without songs like this promoting sexual abuse on CHILDREN!, was what Mina was thinking. "I mean, it's one thing to sexually abuse adults or teens, that's different, they understand what's happening and can get help or try to fight it off. Children can't know any better! Especially if the creep is someone they trust. Sick psychotic low life pitiful excuses of human beings!" She thought and grunted. Her thoughts were like an open book, atleast to Chii, who knew what she was thinking and agreed for the most part with it.

_"And I don't care what people say,_

_And I don't care what people think,_

_And I don't care how we look walking down the street,_

_Isn't this what life's all about?_

_Isn't this a dream come true?_

_Isn't this a nightmare too?_

_I love little girls they make me feel so good."_

The song ended and Chii let out a sigh, thanking the lord the song finally ended. Mina, however, was red in the face.

"HOW IS THAT YOUR FAVORITE SONG!? THAT SONG WAS THE MOST IMPUDENT, DISGUSTING PIECE OF TRASH I'VE EVER HEARD YOU INSOLENT FOOL! GO LISTEN TO DECENT MUSIC FOR ONCE AND NOT THIS GAY TRASH THAT'S MAKING THE WORLD CORRUPT!"

And Mina went on with a string of non-swear insults against the song and how it's a piece of gay trash and all that stuff.

Everyone blinked and stared at the frustrated girl who was panting and red.

"GO MINA! GROWIN' BACKBONE!" Kagura called and Mina nodded at Chii, who gladly strolled up and socked the girl in her face.

"Owww!! That hurt!"

"Good." Mina hissed and stormed out of the room. Seconds later there was a shriek, slamming, and she ran out.

--

Mina: Gee, I wonder what will happen next!

Chii: Eh.

Mina: Atleast act like you're interesting in the fanfic!

Chii: How can I do that when we're waiting at the police station to be questioned?

Mina: You're right...


	7. Connections

Previously on Evil Mini Moni:

Mina: Fine. We don't own anything in this fanfic besides ourselves and the things we make up... you should be able to tell.

Chii: Yeah. -throws camera out the window, and the people in the store riot like in Grand Theft Auto when you hold a gun to the cashier, or hit someone, or shoot something.-

Both: AHH! THEY GOT A GUN! -pointing to camera men-

Mina first noticed them. "YOMI! YOU'RE BACK! ARE YOU OKAY?!"

I love little girls they make me feel so good."  
"HOW IS THAT YOUR FAVORITE SONG!? THAT SONG WAS THE MOST IMPUDENT, DISGUSTING PIECE OF TRASH I'VE EVER HEARD YOU INSOLENT FOOL! GO LISTEN TO DECENT MUSIC FOR ONCE AND NOT THIS GAY TRASH THAT'S MAKING THE WORLD CORRUPT!"

"Good." Mina hissed and stormed out of the room. Seconds later there was a shriek, slamming, and she ran out.

--

"THERE'S A MINI MONI IN THERE!" And Takahashi walking into the room, chuckling

maniacally.

"Oh! My girlfriend! I invited her for tea!" Osaka grabbed Takahashi by the wrist.

Everyone's jaw dropped

"YOU GOT A GIRLFRIEND?!"

Osaka nodded, "We've been dating for a month."

Takahashi kissed Osaka on the cheek.

"AND IT'S A MINI MONI?!"

"We don't like to think about that."

Osaka grabbed Takahashi, and they both went in the kitchen, where the tea was already cooling off on the tables.

Tomo picked up her jaw and spoke first. "Well THAT was unexpected." She laughed a bit, "And if she did get a girlfriend, I'd assume it was probably Kagura."

"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU IMPLYING?!"

"That you and Osaka and Sakaki threesome."

"GO GET LOST IN YOMI'S FATROLLS!"

"It's not the girlfriend bit that gets me!" Said Mina, "It's the fact that she's a Mini Moni! She's probably just using poor Osaka just to get to us! I don't trust her! I don't trust those 'gaylords' (lol Mina word), not one bit!"

"..Maybe so, but Osaka seems like she really like her from what we observed.." Said Chii, peering into the kitchen. "Even though we saw them together for like.. thirty seconds."

"Kag, go keep a keen eye on Osaka and Takahashi, incase something weird happens." Said Mina.

Kagura agreed, but muttered under her breath, "Don't call me Kag.."

Mimi, Chii's younger sister, busted through the window. "KAG AND FAG!" Then Mimi disapeared as quicky and mysteriously as she appeared.

Kagura watched as Osaka and Takahashi were engaged in a conversation. They seemed pretty okay, I mean, Takahashi's not beating Osaka up, or asking where they keeped their secret stuff or anything, not like they had any secret stuff, or anything, because secret stuff is secret, so you wouldn't know that there is secret stuff, but actually, it might be secret stuff, just wouldn't know there is secret stuff for the fact secret stuff is obviously secret and you don't know the secret about the secret stuff because it's a secret. (That is the same exact way Kagura thinks, by the way.)

**LOL**

Kagura watched Osaka take Takahashi by the hand. They walked out of the room. Kagura hid in the shadows, stalking the two carefully. She didn't spot anything suspicious, but hell, Takahashi's a Mini Moni. Some of them are good at acting too.

"Well, what do we do now?!" Sighed Chii. Everyone besides Osaka, her girlfriend, Kagura, and Yomi, and Sakaki (Pretty much everyone.) were back to sitting on the couch. The radio being silent this time. Mina shrugged, "We can't plan, because that Moni is here, and she'd squeal it off to her friends."

Tomo shrugged, "We continue the par--" She was cut off, by a muffled poi poi peace. Everyone turned to Tomo, and Tomo was looking around frantically. "WHERE THE FUCK IS IT?!"

"Check your pockets." Said Mina. Mina was ignored though, because Tomo was still frantically looking for where the music was comming from. Chii noticed an anntennae popping out of Tomo's back pocket (BACK POCKET EXISTS) and rolled her eyes. While Tomo was bending over the couch, checking under the cushions, Chii took it. Red cellphone that you can't flip.

Tomo spun around, "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TOUCHING MY ASS FOR?!"

"WELL, IT WAS IN YOUR BACK POCKET, AND YOU WERE TOO STUPID TO LOOK."

Right when Tomo and Chii were going to start World War Three, Mina's screams intterupted them.

"PLEASE, ANSWER THE PHONE!"

Tomo and Chii turned to where the outburst came from. Mina was holding her ears. "THAT RINGTONE STINKS!"

"Lol," said Chii, "Toontown insult"

Tomo answered the phone. Must be important because the person didn't hang up. "Helloooo?"

The girls watched as Tomo's eyes widdened, and stuttered uncontrollably into the phone.

"Who do you think she's talking to?" whispered Chii. Mina shrugged, "Where's Yomi? Was she kiddnapped again?"

"I dunno," Came Chii's reply "How the hell'd they manage to take her out of here? I mean she's so big, we would have had an earthquake if something like that happened again."

The two girls turned their attention back to Tomo. Tomo's face flushed. She trembled a little bit, and hung her head down. Soon, the mysterious conversation was over, and Tomo hung up the phone and turned to Chii and Mina.

"You're all red. Like a TOMOato." Joked Chii. Mina giggled.

Tomo didn't laugh. Chii and Mina suddentally stopped joking around. What happened?

Kagura watched as Osaka and Takahashi slipped in Osaka's room. Kagura waited a few minutes, before trying to open the door. Osaka locked it shut. She pressed her ear against the wall. There was silence, and Kagura was starting to get worried, when all the sudden, she heard Osaka's screaming. Kagura's eyes widdened, and was frozen to the door. She was too scared to move. Her buddy's in trouble, but she was too busy in shock to move.

Then she heard Takahashi screaming.

Yeah, that's it Osaka, beat the shit out of that ungrateful bastard!  
The screaming were both overlapping each others, or taking turns. This happened for a while, until Osaka screamed loudly, more loudly then Kagura ever heard Osaka scream before. Kagura rammed herself into the door, and the door collasped. "OSAKA, I'LL HEL--"

Takahashi and Osaka were both in the bed, covering themselves. Completely embarrased.

Kagura was embarrased as well. "Uhm.. Happy Orgasm?"

"Get the fuck out." Muttered Takahashi. Kagura nodded and slowly stepped out the room.

Yomi walked into the room from the kitchen with a HAM ON, HAM ON, HAM ON WHOLE WHEAT. ALRIGHT.

She sat on the couch. "Why the hell is it so quiet?"

"I'm going out." Said Tomo. She sprinted out of the hideout.

"Tomo's acting pretty weird.." Commented Mina. Chii nodded. Yomi shrugged and ate her HAM ON, HAM ON, HAM ON WHOLE WHEAT. Alright.

"How the HECK did Tomo end up getting stuck with some one like you?! I mean, are you planning on eating her?!" Mina folded her arms and waited for an answer from Yomi. When Yomi was finished with her HAM ON, HAM ON, HAM ON WHOLE WHEAT. Alright., She turned to Mina and Chii. "She's not a baby. She could take care of herself. Tomo probably went to McDonalds." finally replied Yomi.

"NO. THAT'S WHAT YOU WOULD DO IF YOU SPRINTED OUT THE HOUSE!" Shouted Chii, "DAMN, YOU DON'T CARE FOR ANYONE BUT YOURSELF, AND THE MANAGERS OF ALL THE FAST FOOD RESTURANTS, DON'T YOU?"

Yomi gave no reply, because she went to get another HAM ON, HAM ON, HAM ON WHOLE WHEAT, ALRIGHT. Yomi came back, and they continued their conversation about Tomo.

In the middle of it, Kagura returned. She sat on the couch in the small cramped space next to Yomi. Tomo arrived ten to fifteen minutes later with Sakaki, and some other person.

A person that Chii reconigzed really well.

"OH MY GOD. IT'S AYUMI HAMASAKI!"

Yomi's head turned immidiately to Ayumi Hamasaki, the Queen of J-pop. "Hey Ayu, we meet again, huh?"

Ayu smirked, "Yep. We meet again."

Yomi then, after three long minutes of struggling, got up off the couch. "Don't lay your godly hands on Tomo."

"Wait. Why the heck is Ayumi Hamasaki here?" Asked Mina, who's probably the only reasonable one right now.

"WHO CARES? AYUMI FRUCKIN ROCKS!" Shouted Chii. She screamed a fangirl screech and almost fainted.

"We need to get the Moni out the house." Said Tomo. "Then we'll explain."

--

Mina: Dun dun dun dun...


	8. Commercial Break

--

The Evil Mini Mo: THE SEQUAL will return after these commercial messages!

Tomo: -Sits on the beach, glaring at her busty friends, namely Kagura, Sakaki, and Yomi. Then she looks at her own chest and frowns.- Jypped once again.

-Chii pops out of motherduckin nowhere.-.

Chii: HEYA! WHAT'S THE MATTER MY FLATCHESTED CHUMP?!

Tomo: Everybody has bigger boobs then me! And they over exaggerate it, so their boobs are bigger then Jupiter, and mine are smaller then a decimal. That totally fruckin sucks!

Chii: Well, that totally sucks to be you.

Tomo: I KNOW!

Chii: I THINK I CAN HELP YOU THOUGH!

Tomo: REALLY?! HOW?!

Chii: WITH-- CHII'S BREAST ENHANCEMENT FORMULAAAAAAAA!!

-Grabs out a bottle of ketchup-. TADA!

Tomo: What the HELL is that?

Chii: My breast enhancement formula.

Tomo: That's a bottle of ketchup.

Chii: STFU NOOB.

Tomo: Well how the hell is that going to help me?!

Chii: EASY! -Removes Tomo's top, and smothers ketchup all over it-.

Tomo: WTF? WHAT KIND OF LAME EXCUSE TO TOUCH MY CHEST WAS THAT?

Chii: IT WASN'T LAME. And it wasn't an excuse. Sort of.. It.. LOOK. JUST PUT THAT ON YOUR CHEST, AND THEN IT'LL GROW.

Tomo: -Looks down-. Nothing's happening. It looks like some one sat on me and then got their period really, really heavy.

Chii: Patience, my flatchested seniorita. Good things come to he who waits.

-Chii and Tomo stand there while the Sun sets, and then the moon comes up, then the moon sets, and the sun rises again-.

Tomo: -looks at Chest again-. Nada.

Chii: I SAID WAIT, DAMNIT!

-Chii and Tomo stand there while the Sun sets, and then the moon comes up, then the moon sets, and the sun rises again-.

-Pretty soon, Tomo looked nice and busty.-.

Tomo: I'M NOT SURE HOW THAT WORKED, BUT COOL! -Goes to show off-. HEY SAKAKI!!

Sakaki: Turns around. Hmm? ... Oh my GOD, what the FUCK?

Tomo: -SUFFORCATES SAKAKI WITH HER BOOBS- HAH! IT'S BIGGER THEN YOURS! IN YOUR FACE.

Kagura: IMPOSSIBLE! IT'S THE APPOCOLYPSE!

-Screen goes back to Chii-.

Chii: You saw it there folks, no more being flatchested. Want big boobs? It's easy. Just smother Chii's breast enhancement formula on your chest, wait, then there it is!

-There's an explosion in the back of Chii, and faint screamings of 'ZOMG, APPOCOLYPSE! APPOCOLYPSE! WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE'-

Chii: -Shouts over the screaming- JUST ONE EASY PAYMENT OF 19.95 PLUS SHIPPING AND HANDLING! AND WITH THIS SPECIAL OFFER, YOU COULD GET FOUR MORE BOTTLES FREE! THAT'S FIVE BOTTLE OF CHII'S MIRACLE BREAST ENHANCEMENT FORMULA!

-More explosions, and people screaming and dying-.

Side effects may include (lol side effects) death, fingerloss, appocolypse, nipple loss, hair loss, cancer, explosive diarrea, IMPLOSIVE diarrea, homicidal tendancies, and the strong urge to rub Tomo's chest.

-Sky turns black, and there's red lightening striking everywhere-.

Chii: CHII'S BREAST ENHANCEMENT FORMULAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!  
CALL THE TOLL-FREE NUMBER NOW!

1-800-Tomo-got-some-big-balls.

And now we're back!

--


	9. The Bus Driver Who Drinks

Mina: And we're back!

Chii: We own nothing that we don't own.

Mina: ...

--

They managed to get Takahashi out of the house, without her suspecting anything. The only thing they did though, was sacrifice Osaka. Osaka's stupid, so she'd probably sabotage their plans, or whatever the reason Ayumi was there, because she could easily squeal on them because she's so close to Takahashi. Mina somehow got resturant reservations for them, so they both went out on a nice date, while they handled 'Big Business'. Hell, ANYTHING involving Ayumi Hamasaki, is BIG BUSINESS indeed.

They all sat in Mina's room, on the bed, Tomo explaining what was going on.

"Ayumi and Yaguchi are cousins. While going in the Mini Moni mansion visiting Yaguchi, she accidentally stumbled upon a secret room, where there were stacked written papers in big cardboard boxes. Ayumi figured they were music, and went to take a peak. It wasn't music. It was PLANS. PLANS to kill us and take us down. In the minute she noticed my name, she thought I was in trouble, but hasn't got a way to contact me without Yaguchi following her everywhere like a little kid."

Ayumi added on, "Today, I called Tomo and told her about what happened. I said I'd help the best way I could. Tomo then told me that her friend was comming home from wherever she mysteriously goes during the fanfic (We pretty much know where that is. -Wink) and she'd drop me off here. And Tomo's friend did. And now we're here."

There was still a question that needed to be solved. "How'd gayass Tomo get connections with the Queen of J-pop?" Asked Chii.

"Let's just say, we used to be friends loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong ago. Until Yomi got jealous of me and Ayu's friendship!" Replied Tomo.

"FUCK YOU TOMO, I WAS NEVER JEALOUS OF THAT STUPID WHORE!"

"SHUT UP! YOU DON'T KNOW NOTHIN BOUT US, HOMEGIRL!"

"GUYS!" Mina stopped World War four. "Guys, guys, easy. It's unpolite to fight in front of the Goddess Ayumi Hamasaki."

Yomi pushed Ayu, "SHE COULD LICK MY DAMN NUTS COVERED IN PEANUTBUTTER.. ...mm.. peanutbutter.. FOR ALL I GODDAMNED CARE!" She stormed out the room.

"H-..how are you going to help?" Asked Sakaki, who rarely, rarely, rarely talks in this damned thing. "I've gotten you guys a helicopter." Replied Ayu. "I know it's not that much, but I'm helpless. If there's something you need involving expenses, I'll try and help you out."

"No Ayumi!" Smiled Mina, "That's perfect! I'm tired of taking the darned train all the time to Mini Moni's hideout anyway. It's so unmotiviational."

"One problem." Said the forever pessimistic-in-hopeful-situations Chii. "None of us knows how to fly a god forsaken Helicopter. Chiyo used to be our driver, remember? Before she betrayed us."

There was a mournful silence. Leave it to Chii to gay up the mood.

"Surely there are other transporations then helicopters.. right?" Said Mina, rebuilding hope.

"Okay. I'll buy you guys a nice van, that will be helpful against the Mini Moni." Agreed Ayumi. "Can any of you drive cars?"

"No." Said Tomo, "But I know some one who can!"

The girls found themselves in front of the apartment door numbered 666.

"..Uhm.. Tomo.." Said Mina when she noticed. Tomo turned to her.

Mina trembled a bit, and cleared her throat, "Do you SERIOUSLY want me to knock on THIS door?"

The other girls seemed annoyed. "No." Said Chii. "Stare at the door all day."

Mina smiled, "That sounds better."

The girls litterally found themselves staring at the door for a good five minutes, until Yomi had said, "..Okay, I think that was sarcasm.."

Tomo knocked on the door.

A familiar person answered the door, that Chii and Mina couldn't make out.

"What the fuck do YOU want from me?" She hissed when she noticed Tomo.

"We were wondering if you wanted to be a personal driver." Replied Ayu.

The woman's eyes widdened, "HOLY SHIT IT'S AYUMI HAMASAKI!"

"--NEVER MIND HER!" Yomi cut in, "Just answer the fucking question!"

The woman threw her head back and laughed. "HAH! I see somebody doesn't like the Queen of J-pop. Let's skin her."

"JUST ANSWER THE GODDAMNED MOTHER FUCKING QUESTION!"

"Is Ayumi buying the car?"

The girl's raised their eyebrows at the woman's question. "Well.. Yeah.."

"GOOD. I'M IN! WHERE IS IT?!"

Ayumi frowned, "I didn't get around to buying one. I wanted to talk to the driver about colour and style of the car and such."

The woman ran inside and came back out with a car catalog. "THIS WAY TO MY APARTMENT, MISS HAMASAKI!"

Ayumi and the woman went in the apartment.

"Well, Let's go." Mina rolled her eyes.

The girls stood at the bus stop, for probably a half hour. They gave up and decided to walk back home. As soon as they were a block away from the bus stop, they saw the bus.

"We REALLY NEED that transportation." Commented Mina.

The Evil Side of the Mini Mo : THE SEQUEL will return after these commercial messages.

--

YOU SUCK

--

And now we're back!

The girls were sitting in the livingroom, talking about random subjects a few days later. Osaka was out on another date, to Kagura's annoyance, beause Kagura wanted to go to the park with her and collect rocks for whatever reason. To be honest, I'd rather date then collect rocks. So, Kagura went alone. Mkay? Anyway, their conversations stopped when there were loud honking comming from outside. Mina was the first one to run to the door. She opened it, and the gang stared at their new transportation.

The car was HUGE. HUGE van. It was coloured silver, and was very, very, shiney. All the windows were tinted. You couldn't see who was inside. Ayumi stepped out and waved. "Come take a ride in your new transport!"

The girl's screamed with glee, 'cept Yomi who was panting because she ran to the door. They all went inside the van, and buckled in. Everyone fit in okay. Even Yomi.

The car started up, and they were off!

The car went around in circles, and down the street. Backwards. And crashed into a pedistrian.

"SHIT!" Shouted the driver, "IT'S IN REVERSE AGAIN!"

The girls, 'cept Tomo and Ayumi screamed, finally recongizing their driver, and now knowing why the door was numbered '666'

"YUKARI?!"

"NO. IT'S THE FUCKING EASTER BUNNY."

She took the car out of reverse, and the girls had the car ride from hell for five hours straight.

Mina burried her hands in her head through the whole time, chanting "This is a nightmare! I'll wake up soon" over, and over.

When they came out of the car, almost all of them were green in the face. The car sped off, with Ayumi still inside. Lol, the car bumped into so many things, the newly brought car looked like an exact replica to the Yukarimobile.

"WAY TO GO, TOMO. WHY THE HELL'D YOU GET YUKARI TO DRIVE THE CAR?!" Screamed Chii. Tomo, who wasn't green in the face shrugged, "What's with you? Man, I'd hate to see you all on roller coasters."

The girls shuddered even thinking about roller coasters. They went back inside deh hideout.

"You know, after living through that, I think we need a treat." Said Mina. Chii nodded, because Mina used the word 'treat' and agreed with her instantly. So did Yomi.

"Well, what are we going to do? Eat out? There's nothing in the refrigerator. Every time we go food shopping, we run out of food the same day!" Tomo said this while looking at Yomi. Who only shrugged.

Mina pulled out a menu from under the couch. "How about this place? It's a cafe that sells really tasty cakes, and various teas."

"I'm in!" Said everyone but Mina at the same time.

So they all headed out the door and into the street, where they walked, not even bothering to call Yukari, all the way cafe.

--

Chii: And now for the next chapter...

Mina: ...


	10. The Decision

Mina: OKAY. KNOW WHAT? -crawls under bed-

Chii: -follows- What?

Mina: Look! -opens a secret door under bed-

Both: -crawl in, and it's a huge lair-

Mina: See?

Chii: Yep.

Both: We don't own anything that we don't own, duh.

--

The cafe was a cutesy looking place, In the shape of a rabbit. It was candy themed, so it looked like a gingerbread rabbit. Plastic lollipops decorate the pathway into the cafe. Plastic pockey poles stick out of the grass. It's a really pretty building if you love candy. The candy decorations are glittery, and almost look sweet enough to eat.

"Wow!" Gasped Tomo, "Did I just step into some dumbass story book?!"

The girls entered the cafe, and spotted a table for four by the window. They didn't sit down. They examined their surroundings first. The inside of the store was as sugary, and the floor looked and felt of real snow, but it wasn't cold, or wet. The girls wondered for a brief moment what it was. There were cute sprinkles sprinkling the snow-looking substance, so they guessed the floor was supposed to be icing. There were candy lolipops sticking out of the walls, huge and gigantic, plastic of course, but looked so real, the girls fantasized themselves licking it. (NOT IN A SEXUAL WAY LOL. Well maybe Tomo..) There were huge gumdrop thingies in the corners, in rainbow colours which were comfy seats, and hersey kisses on the middle of the tables, instead of the old classic -flowers-in-a-vase shit. The little message on the Hersey Kisses, the little white strip of paper that connects to it, said 'Happy Eats!' In big, 'kawaii', bubbly, rainbow letters. It made some of the girls squeal with adorableness. The place was just so sugary, the girl's sweettooths were activating already, and they haven't even sat down yet! Finally, they took a seat, starving.

Female Student A, dressed up as a cutesy waitress. -Is lazy to describe outfit, use your imagination- (Rachel Handlebarz, look her up) came over to give them menus. "I will be back to take your orders in approximately ten minutes..." She stopped to politely bow. "Be patient if I am late." She smiled and dropped four menus on the table, smiled again, and walked off.

The girls nodded, Such polite service.

Female Student A came back, approximately ten minutes as promised, and took their orders. In another ten minutes, she arrived with everybody's cakes.

Vanilla-Vanilla cake with orange and blue sprinkes and a cherry on top, even though she wasn't going to eat the cherry, for Mina

Oreo Cheese cake for Chii,

(FRUCK I'M SO HUNGRY NOW LOL)

BANANA SHORTCAKE FOR TOMO LOLLLLLLLL

And halfway everything on the menu for Yomi.

They had no idea how the hell they were going to pay for Yomi's side of the food, so Yomi's bill is comming in seperately. She's going to have to pay for it.

Teas of any flavours the girls wanted came for free, since four people from their table bought a meal.

They were happily eating their freaklishly perfectly delicious deserts. All 'cept Mina, who unfortunately had to go run to the little ladies' room. Then, the happy eating and delight came to a halt.

The three remaining girls at the table dropped their forks. WHICH IS NEW TO YOMI LOL.

Their expressions were zombie-like, and dead, and they carelessly began to wobble forward. In the direction of the ladie's room.

Mina was too busy in love with the pretty bathroom! It had white stalls, yellow painted walls, and yellow and white patterned floor tiles and tiles going halfway up the wall. No other way to describe it LOL. The sinks were cupcakes! How cute was THAT?! The soap smelled so enchanting, if Mina was a lunatic, she'd stay in there and get addicted off the soap. But she's not. She dried her hands on the pretty, cupcake patterned paper towels, and tossed it in the strawberry garbage, and exited the bathroom. And stood face to face with her distressed friends.

"What's the matter? Too much food?" Joked Mina.

Chii punched Mina in the face. Hard. Mina held her bruised cheek. Just what the hell is happening here? (DUNDUNDUN OO)

Before Mina could ask, or yell out in pain or anything, Mina saw a plate comming closer to her face, until well, it hit her. Tomo hit Mina with a plastic kitten-shaped plate, over and over. And when Mina dropped to her knees, Yomi began kicking her. (Aw this shit is MEAN LOL)

The girls backed up, allowed Mina some space. Mina winced as she got up.

"WHY?! WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME?! WHAT THE HECK IS WRONG WITH YOU?! WHAT DID I--"

Mina looked at the nice polite waitress from before, grow all gray and scaley. She had huge completely blank beady eyes, and smelled of death, rot and decay. And all the other waitresses transformed into blood-lusting zombie creatures as well. And the cutesey, cutesey cafe thingy, started leaking blood from the walls.

Mina screamed her lungs out. As loud as she could and shook violently at the sight of blood oozing everywhere. She was closed to vomited. LOLEW

Just before they were all going to attack Mina, crowding around her while she screamed in terror, they suddentally stopped, and moved to the side, making out a pathway from the door.

The Mini Moni walked in, and they advanced towards Mina. "Your friends and slobs. What brings you here, to Mini Moni cafe?" Said Yaguchi. They advanced until they were dead in front of Mina. That's when Mina replied, "I DIDN'T KNOW IT WAS YOUR CAFE! IF I DID, I NEVER WOULD HAVE BROUGHT THEM HERE!" Mina turned away from the Mini Moni, and then turned to the zombie creature who used to be Female Student A.

"SHE'S WORKING FOR MINI MONI?!"

"No.. Well sorta. Not Mini Moni, Jumbobo Moni." Replied Kago.

"We decorated this place nice and pretty, and put up Hiring signs. Pretty soon a bunch of desperate for job teenagers flocked to this place. We hired them. And when we hire them, we give them hiring gift. The gift slowly took their soul, giving them to us to keep. They're our puppets. And from eating Mika's cakes, these stupid, greedy bastards' souls are ours now. Think of them as.. tall Mini Moni's." Explained Chiyo. "It was my idea anyway, before you start suggesting I got a little stupid while.. well.. AHAHAHHA!"

"You.. You.." Stuttered Mina, "YOU JERKS! BRING THEM BACK! THEY'LL NEVER JOIN YOUR FREAKLISHLY TALL VERISON OF MINI MONI! NEVER! W... WE'RE ALL FRIENDS, THEY'D NEVER HURT ME!"

Yaguchi smirked, "Eh? Whatever. I know Ayumi Hamasaki is with you. My cousin is so rebellious." She put her hands on her hips and tilted her head to the side, signalling Tsuji to come out.

Tsuji dragged out Ayumi Hamasaki, who had tape over her mouth (ZOMG HAMASAKI!)

and was all tied up.

"T-..That's your own cousin. Your family.." Squaked Mina. This can't be happening, this is deffinately the end!

"I also got your stupid driver. But she can't hear anyone. Ate too much of Mika's cakes."

Mika dragged Yukari out, who was also tied up, with her mouth gagged. She was giggling though, you could hear it through the thick ducktape, and had a drugged expression on her face.

"She's seeing colours." Laughed Chiyo. She kicked Yukari in the stomach.

"That's for truamatizing me with your driving, you stupid wretch."

The blood leaking out of the walls, was on the floor, and was already covering everyone's ankles, maybe even inching higher. They have just noticed.

Mina was going to faint. "I-s.. Is this.. REAL.. blood?"

Yaguchi looked stumpped. "..Good question. Who knows."

Several of the Mini Moni members, including the zombies whispered a 'Ew' and winced a bit.

Yaguchi rolled her eyes, "Whatever. Join us, Mina."

"NO!" Mina screamed in response. "I WON'T JOIN YOU. I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU DO TO ME. MY FRIENDS WOULD BE DISAPOINTED IF I EVER LET MYSELF JOIN THE LIKES OF YOU! LEAVE THEM OUT OF THIS! I'D RATHER BE HELD PRISONER THAN JOIN YOU!"

Yaguchi threw her head back and laughed, "Then so be it." "No... I DIDN'T MEAN_ LITERALLY_!"

As if on que, the zombies all leaped at Mina, and the screams of Mina were heard until it all went black.

Meanwhile, Kagura was walking outside of the cafe, with a bucket of rocks, humming sliently. She was having a goodtime collecting rocks, but it would have been even better if some one came along with her. Next time, if Osaka was busy, she could ask Tomo to get rocks with her. Suddenly, she heard a scream that sounded all too familiar.

...Way.. Too.. Familiar.

"MINA!"

--

Mina: ...Crud, what's going to happen to me?

Chii: I guess we find out soon enough.

Mina: Wahhh! TT;


	11. Commercial

Sorry everyone, but Mini Mo Sequal will _not_ return after these messages. This is where it ended. I may decide in the future to continue with it myself, although it would lose meaning. Unless Chii is willing to continue it, it will probably end here. Sorry.

-Mina

--

Evil Mini Mo Sequal will return after these messages!

The camera pans into several girls sitting around a lunch table near a basketball court, moaning about how hungry they were. We see three raven-haired girls and a blond.

One of the ravens slammed her hands on the table and stood up.

"I can't take this! I'm freakin' starving over here!"

"Kagura, calm down." Another raven sighed.

"Don't tell me to calm down, Tomo!"

Another raven was picking at her arm, and shifted her gaze towards the argument.

"Guys, please don't argue!" The blond cut in, and the two sat down.

"Hey, atleast it got rid of the boredom!" The last raven, Chii, sighed again. "Aww, why'd you have to kill it Mina?"

"Violence isn't entertainment!" The blond yelled.

Things went silent, and again everyone was bored and sighing and staring off at nothing.

Suddenly, the grounded started to shift, and a sound was heard at a distance. Then the sounds grew.

_"Better treat me right..."_

The rumble grew as the ground shook, and the air stiffened with intensity. The group looked around, trying to figure out what was happening.

Then the ground shook more and more.

_"My zippers bust, my buckles break,_

_I'm too much man__, __for you to take,_

_The pavement cracks __when I fall down,_

_I got __more chins than China Town__..."_

Then the music was blaring loud.

"Hey isn't that-"

"Weird Al Yank-oh-vihk!" Chii interupted Mina.

Coming into view seemed like a huge object, which Tomo recongized as Yomi.

"Yomi!" Yomi was pudgy - no HUMONGUS - and wore sweat pants and a black tanktop and dirty sneakers with sweat bands on her forehead and wrists.

Yomi stopped, and most of the shaking stopped - except for the bit that was caused by the music on full blast.

Yomi had a boombox on her left shoulder with her arm arched around it, and had Crazy Al Yankovic's "Fat" playing. She was singing to it.

"Because I'm fat, fat, really really fat, come on,

I'm fat, fat, really really fat, you know it-..."

Then she started rapping.

"Why you got your buns in a twist?

Why you look so down?

I kno' you're probably bored crazy,

That's why I came to town!"

_"Quit singing. We're starving here."_

"Hungry you say? Well that's all fine and dandy,

I'll give you a treat that tastes like candy!"

_"Candy-!"_

"I ain't foolin' with you, no way,

My favorite thing to eat everyday,

Take one bite and you'll be hooked,

Don't worry; I got more,

You'll love this fo' sure."

_"What is it?"_

"Ham on, ham on, ham on whole wheat. Alright."

_"What?"_

"I said, ham on, ham on, ham on whole wheat. Alright."

_"That sounds nasty."_

"Trust me, it's tasty!"

_"Please don't rap with my words..."_

Yomi pulled a HAM ON HAM ON HAM ON WHOLE WHEAT. Alright. out of one of her many rolls.

"C'mon, just try it, just one little bite,

C'mon, c'mon, don't fight what's right,

I'm tellin' you fool, don't knock it down,

It deserves a chance,

Come on, just one bite,

And you're **hooked**. _Hooked_."

HAM ON, HAM ON, HAM ON WHOLE WHEAT. Alright. appeared around the circle table infront of everyone, and they all took a bite and instantaniously loved it.

"BREYER'S HAM ON, HAM ON, HAM ON WHOLE WHEAT. Alright! ONE BITE, AND YOU'RE HOOKED! I'M FAT AND I APPROVE THIS MESSAGE!"

"Isn't Breyer's an ice-cream company?"

"Oh, shut up!"

--


End file.
